Sunday, February 20, 2011

ask, know, grow.

God's been watering me and it feels really good to feel growth and breakthrough. It's really kinda out of nowhere and through various, random ways He's been shedding light and truth in my life. Whether it be great church services, Circles discussions, Here and Now, the Word of Life, or just encouraging conversations; I've been seeing more of Him lately and gaining wisdom. Which is so sick cause i've been totally asking for wisdom. so there's two main things that i would say God has been revealing to me through the wisdom He has given: prayer & perserverance/endurance.

My prayer life has increased dastically and as a result, so has the peace (that's weird kind of exactly like Phillipians 4:6-7...hmm). Here and Now got me thinking about prayer. he wrote about how prayer keeps our eternal sight clear and when our eternal sight or our vision of Christ gets blurry, prayer makes it clear again. i've been applying this and have been experiencing what it's like to continually be in the mindset of prayer all day. I have invited God into my thought life and have been listening for Him more. It's really helped. Like a ton. I'm able to recognize spiritual attacks more easily, and sift lies from truth, and find joy in all things. most important of all i've been super content. prayer is a beautiful thing.

The second thing, perserverance/endurance comes from 2 Peter 1:1-11:

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
 10 Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

this passage is so boss!!!!!!

it spoke directly to me. His power has made it possible for us to be sanctified, in order that we would ESCAPE the corruption of this world. Then i love the snowball type deal he does in verses 5,6, and 7. Right now i'm right in the middle of the self-control/perserverance stage. i'm learning how to recognize desires of the flesh, ones that will give birth to sin, and appealing to the Spirit in me rather than dabbling with the desire. and then how to perservere with the mindset on a daily basis. it was really encouraging talking to my uncle (probably the most Christ-like person i know) about perserverence. He was telling me how now that spiritual battle will be going on the rest of my life, and how every single day he faces it. The enemy will do whatever he can to rob our joy. That's why its so important to "forget the past and press on towards the goal which Christ has called us to heaven for." It was awesome to see his daily perserverence and the results of it: lots and lots of fruit.

i think the key is one day at a time, one moment at a time, one battle at a time. and also, consistantly clinging to Jesus through prayer and the Word.

so that's whats up in my life right neow. thanks for listening :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

waiting + lies.

This post was inspired by the truth spoken to me through Corinnes post, so first off, thank you Corinne. And Brandons comment.

I'm pretty insecure. Yes, post-Christ He has helped me discover my true identity, but sometimes I still struggle and have moments of vulnerability. I find that when the enemy sees me with my guard down, or any opportunity to dabble salt in my insecurites wound, then he takes the chance. It's tough because I don't recognize it's an attack until I feel like crap and find myself dwelling on the lies as if they were true. I think for me, my insecurities and my tendency to compare myself to others creates a perfect storm of self-pity. Self-pity is the worst because it creates all these emotions in me that are completely void of any real support, the only support i have for feeling down are the lies that I contemplate as truth. 

That being said, I got straight attacked last night at Circles. I was having one of those weird days where I just felt off. Partly because I was sick and couldn't think straight and i dont know the other part, i was just off. Wait, you guys need a little more background if this is going to make sense: I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, absolutely no idea. I've had dreams of being everything from a firefighter to a full-time missionary to a biochemist to a doctor. But nothing has really stuck. On top of that, I don't really know what any of my passions are, what my calling is. So right now I'm just waiting on the Lord and I KNOW He has something planned, I just have no idea what, yet. So I rolled into Circles with this on the back of my mind and then the lies began!

"You're not like any of these people. you're different. they're all artsy and creative and you suck at art and couldn't create a thing. they all have deep passions that God gave them but God didn't give you any passions. They all are serving the Lord with their God given passions. What are your passions? Where are your passions? WHERE ARE YOUR PASSIONS?"

And i dwelled in this for the whole night! But it was cool because this morning I woke up and embraced the freshness of sunshine and the reality of a new day. The new sunshine evaporated the cloudiness of the lies and i was able to see clrealy they were lies and I was able to recognize the reality of Gods love. I prayed and told the Lord i trust Him. I know He has a plan for me. Give me clarity God. Peace in waiting. and then I read Corinnes blog with brandons comment and its just super encouraging when the issue being brought about on a blog is exactly the same thing you're going through. Being renewed is a great thing :)

Jeremiah 29:11 ""For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a mans' heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails."

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


so this week ive been really focusing on being present when i'm with people and caring, like really caring about everyone. i've been trying to be real with people and get to their hearts instead of just having meaningless bs conversations. and already ive had 17 different heart to hearts with all these different people ive never even met before!!!! just kidding. nothings been that different besides the fact that its refreshing truly caring about people. now, im not really good at it yet but i've been focusing on what distracts me from the present and just being more sensitive to the Spirits leading. it's a good thing and im gunna keep workin on it. so in reality, 2 conversations come to my mind. One with the janitor from my work which was half spaglish but we talked about his kids and this kid he kinda adopted cause the kids dad got deported. i feel like this was a big step in our relationship. and also, with my old homie from football, who is now on my team at saddleback, he really opened up to me about some pain in his life and how he's interested in God. I gave him the Love Letter and he said he would start reading it. This was especially special because if there was one person who i thought i was LEAST likely to have a meaningful conversation with, it was him. only God! :)