Saturday, June 18, 2011

"that smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

"that smell" just came on by lynyrd skynyrd and i really like this song so that's what this post is titled.

lately i've been learning that being a christian is very simple. God loves me no matter what, and out of faithful obedience He will guide me in everything. Now, there could be a whole range of emotions that happen, but if i'm faithfully being obedient, I will end up where God wants me. I think that even in the hard times, there is so much rest in embracing the Redeemers unfailing love.

I've been learning how simple being a christian is because I have been making it not simple, and i've grown weary. Our minds are such bastards sometimes, well mine is. I overthink everything and when that spills into my relationship with God it's a bummer because I start to believe in lies and all this muck is created. I also think it has to do a lot with child like faith too. Lately i've been really meditating on what that means.

Also, I've been seeing the importance of intergrity. I know this is darrins main focus kinda and ive been seeing the importance lately. That integrity is the root of my walk with the Lord. It is directly related with obedience. Jesus is constantly by my side, so the way I act at all times determines my integrity. Integrity is unique in the sense that the only person who knows your true integrity is God. It's not something that can be easily flaunted and shown off, but rather it has a lot to do with your concious and direct relationship with Jesus. I like that. There is freedom in being able to say, "Okay this, this, and this are not going very well in my life; but I'm walking in integrity with the Lord so it's all good."

Also, a verse I really like. Psalm 16:8 "I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." mmmmmm :)

i know this was a machine gun fire post but that's whats been going on latelyyy. well one of the things! <3

Sunday, May 29, 2011

This is what I want for my life.

As I sit at work listening to music and contemplating Him, I reach this moment of utter awe and electricity  jumps from my heart; chills run to my neck, down my neck to my shoulders, down my shoulders to my arms; and im warmer than I was a second ago. It felt like time stopped. The Holy Spirit surrounds me, He raises a cup as a toast with the Father and the Son and then dumps the cup, full of agape, all over my head. A subtle reminder that whispers, "There is nothing you can do to make me love you less."

The feeling came through watching a lifehouse video, one which films a skit acted out live as lifehouse plays everything in the background. The skit depicts Jesus as rescuer, healer, redeemer, cherisher; but the strongest message I pulled from it was His intense, unfailing, personal love for each and every one of His children.

This moment came out of nowhere and was so refreshing to me. I've been doing awesome lately in my relationship with Him. But yesterday was chalk full of spiritual warfare and I began to believe in lies. The same lies I always believe in. My patience decreased and my frustration increased, my love decreased and my judging increased, my censorship decreased and my vulgarity increased, etc. On the outside I probably appeared fine, but on the inside I was anxious, afraid, and felt weak. This was the first day in a while that I wasn't walking in the Spirit, and i found the fruit of the Spirit being forced and faked rather than flowing from my heart.

this is all in response to the most incredible day ever on friday. we went to the beach to preach the Gospel. I preached to this group of about 20 high school seniors; 6 of them accepted Christ and were baptized right on the spot, tears were flowing from all of their eyes. This was confirmation for my gift of evangelism, for sure. But I let the enemy creep in that night and the next day, i let him whisper in my ear and instead of rebuking him and holding to what i know to be true, i listened and dwelled on this questions from the enemy.

Are you really a good enough Christian to start preaching all the time? Zach, that will be quite a burden no? What about all of your sins, you know, the ones you always struggle with... Just be comfortable. Relax. Slow down, youre burning yourself out by being so ambitious.

And as a result I lost my peace by warring in my head these questions.

But then today while watching the lifehouse video i was reminded of His love, and how He fought for me, and continues to fight for me, and how He died so that I could live. I was reminded that the only reason I'm here on this earth is to give glory to His name, and that the harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few... and that I am called to be a laborer, to make disciples, to preach the Gospel. "Beautiful are the feet of those who bring the Good News." and "Woe is me if I dont preach the Gospel." I'm reminded of the power and the strength that I have through the Holy Spirit, and that Jesus says if I want to find my life I will lose it, but if I lose my life for Him, then I will find it. I really feel like I'm taking another step deeper in alying down my life, and i think Satan is pissed off and afraid. In this new season of digging deeper into the lifestyle of a disciple, I'm finding it essential and absolutely VITAL to be consistent in my seeking; to daily step out of the world and just be alone with Jesus, to purify my mind and keep it clean from the crap on TV that takes my mind off of my calling, to invest all of my time advancing the Kingdom in my life, increasing my love for Him and increasing my love for others. I really am focusing on being not of this world. I feel strongly that so many christians these days have lost their zeal or their passion because it's slowly become okay for a believer to fit in with the world and to watch the same things, listen to the same music, have the same desires and struggle with the same things.... It's one of the enemies favorite tactics.

Francis Chan has a sermon where he says, "Church used to just happen because believers were so exhausted from living out the great commission that they simply had to meet to bandage each other up and exhort one another, only so that they could back out and share the Gospel."

That's how I want to live my life. I know i have a lot of growth and a lot of progress to make. But, By God, I am not going to let the lies of the enemy make me settle. I will settle and rest in His unfailing love and as a result I will preach the Gospel. He deserves nothing less. He is the King. The Almight God. The Creator. Everything was created through Him and for Him. I can't hold back for Him in order to recieve comfort here on this earth. I can't settle for less than everything I have. Through His power and His strength all things are possible.

Lord Jesus, I ask you for strength. Strength to never give up, to never be comfortable, to never be selfish in my walk with you and to never prevent sharing your love because i dont feel like it. Lord I need more of your love to fuel me. To push me forth into an evermore radical lifestyle. Jesus, please continue to show me the areas where you have set me free from this broken world, but I still choose to dabble in bondage. I want so desperately to go all in for you Jesus. The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, increase your Spirit in me Jesus. Continue to teach me and show me what it looks like to die to myself on a daily basis. Refine me, Lord. I want to suffer for the Gospel, and rejoice in doing so. Thank you for your unfailing love Jesus, I can't wait to see you. Amen

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

(Ortberg, page 55, Par. 2)

"A disciplined follower of Jesus--a "disciple"--is not someone who has " mastered the disciplines" and never misses a daily regimen of spiritual exercises. A disciplined follower of Jesus is someone who discerns when laughter, gentleness, silence, healing words, or prophetic indignation is called for, and offers it promptly, effectively, and lovingly."

i really like this book. a lot. it's answer to prayer in a lot of different ways. its cool how God uses books to speak to us, how humble is that! its rad.

im only on page 55 but i love what ive read so far and im excited to finish the book.

relating to the quote above, this is revolutionary to me and now, looking back, it's so obvious this is what discipline is. i always thought of discipline as like rigid and unenjoyable and boot-campish. i thought of discipline as cleaning my room on thursday every week from 8-9am. and reading my bible everyday from 5:15- 6:25am and then eating cereal from 6:26- 6:32 (by the way i tried a new cereal this week, the eggo waffle and yeah i thought of discipline as that. and then as far as spiritual things go, if i felt i needed discipline in listening.... i would try my hardest never to talk. and if i wanted to work on hearing words from the Spirit, i would forcefully and very frustratingly try and play psychic with everyone i saw (embarrassing i know) and if i needed to focus on being light hearted i would find myself stressed cause i wasnt light-hearted ALL THE TIME. it's a great revelation and perspective that discipline is learning how to be discerning when to act and behave a certain way. and that way is centered around what others need at that particular moment of time.

i also loved the concept of "training and not trying." im not just going to go "try" and surf a 100ft wave. now most likely i would be a natural and get a massive barrell and be fine, but if i did fall.... i would surely drown. the way to become a big wave surfer is not to just TRY, but to traiiiiiiiin. to swim and practice holding your breath and all that stuff. same with following Jesus. gooooood stuff. love you all. so pumped for the retreat. im at work i gotta go clean the coffee maker now! until next time

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." Matt. 3:11

 the exact cries of my heart. it's all i want. it's all i need. it's my only prayer.

All Consuming Fire
you're my hearts desire
Living Flame of Love
come baptize me
come baptize me

Let me, fall more, in Love with You

i want to know how high, how deep, how wide
Love Love Love


Friday, May 6, 2011

White Castle Employee of the Month 1971

i don't do my laundry very often. i wear all of my clothes until they are all dirty and the search for a cute outfit in the morning reaches about 10 minutes. Then i do all my laundry and start over. so last week, after i ran out of clothing, i was looking through my dads closet when i found a t-shirt that said "White Castle Employee of the Month 1971." I couldnt believe the treasure that hung before me. it was as if i saw a new color. i was in awe, i was confused, i was well pleased, and i was shocked all at the same time. but then i realized that although extremely random shirts are in style right now, White Castle Employee of the Month 1971 is crossing the line. i couldn't pull it :/ but i'll probably wear it to circles just for kicks and giggles. this has nothing to do with my walk with God right now. i apologize if you were pre-emptively(?) trying to uncover some hidden metaphor ;).

the Bible says it is impossible to please God without faith. Hebrews 11 is often called the "faith hall of fame" and it talks about the best examples of faith from men and women in the old testament. how they did great things because of their faith in God and His Word and His promises... faith is such a huge part of our... faith.

  • we walk by faith, not by sight.
  • we're saved by faith.
  • we're justified by faith.
  • we are instructed to keep our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of faith.
  • "I have been crucified by Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me; and the life which i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
  • "and without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."
when i recommitted my life to Christ my junior year of high school, it took a lot of faith because i was terrified of telling all my old friends i wouldn't be partying with them anymore, or even seeing them very much; but i knew it had to be done in order to follow Jesus. it's a scary thing sometimes, acting on pure faith. but that's exactly what is most pleasing to God. i feel like throughout the Christian life it's a series of cliff jumps. God is speaking; softly, gently, powerfully; "Jump." And I am standing over the edge looking down at the jagged rocks of doubt and all sorts of possible outcomes saying, "Lord.... look at those rocks!"


and then when I do jump it's still scary while  in the air but He always catches me and teaches me and blesses me and He is glorified.

i'm falling more and more with love with Jesus, but a lot of times i lack faith, i lack trust; in His plan for me, in His characteristics, in everyday life. i find myself having faith in the good times, but then leaning on my own understanding in the bad times.... still, much too often; i try to understand every little thing... it's not very hard for the enemy to throw me the perfect lie and it just cruises right through my faith and causes me to overanalyze. im over it.

Jesus, LORD, abba! pleeease give me more faith. i need it. i want it. i want to sprint and gainer off of the cliffs of life knowing your LOVINGKINDNESS always, always, always prevails; even when it completely doesnt look like it. Amen.

PS i love you guys. circles continues to rock my world week in and week out.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the red wire!!!??? or the blue one!!!???

So i've been wrestling with this big decision coming up. Vanguard or football. Vanguard means bible classes, solid solid fellowship, and full time ministry. Football means football, and trying to lead people to Jesus on my team. I have been hyper analyzing and super stressing and praying praying praying and wrestling with this in my head for the last 3 weeks, which is definitely a solid reason why I haven't blogged. idk how those are connected, but the stress and lack of decision made me feel like i had nothing to blog about even though i should have definitely blogged about this long ago. Anyways, i have FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY come to peace!!!! and it's definitely the result of my prayers and the wise counsel of certain peeps i sought out.

I felt extremely guilty about leaving the football team. i felt like i would be condemning them by leaving them and pursuing Vanguard, and it was killing me because even though at one point i had decided i was staying and playing football, i didn't have peace, i still had this killer urge not to just give up on Vanguard. 

I want to go to Vanguard. And so I was struggling in my head with, "Since this is what i want, it must not be God's will, and I need to die to myself." But i was confused because at the bottom of my heart i want to go to Vanguard to glorify God in the fact that I think He is calling me to full time ministry. But then there was fear with being in ministry and having student loans and blahblahblah....

so i struggled and wrestled and stressed and prayed over these two decisions, literally, literally, like my life was on the line. I felt like I was snipping one of two wires which was tied to a spiritual nuke that could literally just obliterate God's plan for my life. RED OR BLUE, RED OR BLUE!!!!????

and then i realized it's not like that.... haha. i started to dwell in the fact that perhaps the Lord has given me two great options and is letting me choose, and that i shouldn't feel guilty about doing what my heart pleases because perhaps the Lord has conformed my will with His will in this one. i haven't exactly made up my mind in this but i'm leaning towards Vanguard. God has opened this door and i want to go through it, for Him. i think the enemy was really guilt tripping me about leaving the team, as if salvation for others was up to me.... I realized that i was over estimating my importance in the Kingdom, and that God is gunna do what God is gunna do whether I'm there or not. and besides, I still have about a month left to pour into some guys! but what's cool is that the Lord could say no to Vanguard at the last second and I would be totally cool with that. bummed out a little, but i would still have peace knowing that God is God and as long as i keep serving Him everything is going to work out. tomorrow i have a meeting with the vanguard counselor where we will go over financial info and so my decision should be made by the end of the week. it feels so good to have the pressure off of me, like the rest of my Spiritual journey with God isn't riding on this one single decision :) God is good.

PS i memorized pslam 23 recently. it's been really awesome reciting it all the time. i HIGHLY suggest doing it for anone who needs a spiritual boost. I SURE DID :)

Saturday, March 19, 2011


I recently read the Circles blog with the story of the alcoholic and how he needed some extremely tough lovin' to get him to realize his problem. I looked at that story as one big REBUKE! It's funny because last night I totally got rebuked by one of my closests friends, although she did it in an extremely gentle, soft-spoken, and loving way; it still felt like an emotional sock in the face haha.

I have a big mouth, and I like to talk. A lot. For some reason when I feel like Zach Hoffman has something to say that it's the most wise, most amazing revolutionary thought that anyone has ever had and it would just be a crying shame if everyone in the room didn't get to hear it. (it's terrible, I know.) I've gotten much better at this, but it still creeps up sometimes and I don't even recognize it! and another thing, it's especially bad when it comes to biblical topics. (yes, i am THAT guy :/ sometimes.) So last night we were at a friends talking about stuff and we were just talking and I had some AMAZING points which I made sure were heard and everything was great, until...

I got into the car with my friend whom I was driving home and then I totally got REBUKED! She kindly pointed out to me that I was talking out of turn, talking over people, not being patient, and yeah she was completely right and I didn't even realize it. It was pointed out that my behavior was not Christ like at all and that I made myself look like a person I'm not. I had to literally fight to hold down the urge to blurt out my justifications but I just took it and yeah.

Rebuking is a good thing. It's important because a lot of times I don't realize when I'm doing stuff that isnt representing Jesus and when someone is loving enough to point that out to me, it allows me to get a perspective of myself from the outside. That, in turn, allows me to grow closer to Jesus, which is my life goal. It's nice to have friends who I know love me enough to hurt my feelings in an effort to help me grow closer to the Lord :) but I dont think it's good to get overly excited about REBUKING and then become the REBUKE king. then the rebuking loses its purpose and often has the opposite effect. that's not what I'm talking about, you guys know what I mean :)