REBUKED!

I recently read the Circles blog with the story of the alcoholic and how he needed some extremely tough lovin' to get him to realize his problem. I looked at that story as one big REBUKE! It's funny because last night I totally got rebuked by one of my closests friends, although she did it in an extremely gentle, soft-spoken, and loving way; it still felt like an emotional sock in the face haha.

I have a big mouth, and I like to talk. A lot. For some reason when I feel like Zach Hoffman has something to say that it's the most wise, most amazing revolutionary thought that anyone has ever had and it would just be a crying shame if everyone in the room didn't get to hear it. (it's terrible, I know.) I've gotten much better at this, but it still creeps up sometimes and I don't even recognize it! and another thing, it's especially bad when it comes to biblical topics. (yes, i am THAT guy :/ sometimes.) So last night we were at a friends talking about stuff and we were just talking and I had some AMAZING points which I made sure were heard and everything was great, until...

I got into the car with my friend whom I was driving home and then I totally got REBUKED! She kindly pointed out to me that I was talking out of turn, talking over people, not being patient, and yeah she was completely right and I didn't even realize it. It was pointed out that my behavior was not Christ like at all and that I made myself look like a person I'm not. I had to literally fight to hold down the urge to blurt out my justifications but I just took it and yeah.

Rebuking is a good thing. It's important because a lot of times I don't realize when I'm doing stuff that isnt representing Jesus and when someone is loving enough to point that out to me, it allows me to get a perspective of myself from the outside. That, in turn, allows me to grow closer to Jesus, which is my life goal. It's nice to have friends who I know love me enough to hurt my feelings in an effort to help me grow closer to the Lord :) but I dont think it's good to get overly excited about REBUKING and then become the REBUKE king. then the rebuking loses its purpose and often has the opposite effect. that's not what I'm talking about, you guys know what I mean :)

lying down in green pastures

oh man, i've really been slackin in circles and first of all, I just want to apologize for not upholding to committment i said i would uphold. I'm getting back on track! These last few weeks have been insane because of midterms. Between football, school, work, and circles I just havent had enough time in the day for anythign else and I often had to sacrafice time from one of those four places and it just happened to be circles :/. The consistent 4 hr sleep nights have killed me and had its toll on my physical health. I haven't had the chance to finish here and now yet, but i will! and then my here and now post will come! :)

SOOOO, since i haven't posted in like 22 days.... (eeeeh that looks bad when i write it haha) i'll do sort of a quick summary of whats been clear through the chaos. I feel the Lord calling me to some type of full time ministry, I feel like full time missions work/ evangelism is the specific nudge I feel from the Spirit. The missions part is going to take much prayer and discernment because I'm not about to just move to the jungle without receiving confirmation i've been called haha, that would not be good.... the second of these two, evangelism, is something i have definitely been slacking on. I used to do it a lot at the spectrum or the block or the movies with some friends but in the past 4-5 months I havent gone at all. I dont know if evangelism is a gift but when i'm talking to a stranger about Jesus, the Spirit gives me things to say that i've never even thought of before so maybe? But anyways, I need to start hittin the streets once again.

Through this whirlwind i've been able to have peace because Jesus has been kept in view and the big picture always in focus. Yes, there were periods of dread while doing 5 hour blocks of homework, and moments of anxiety and stress, but those brief moments seemed to be easily whiped away when I took a step back and kept my eyes on Jesus and His love for me. I know that sounds really basic and almost cliche but hey, it's all about Gods love :) psalm 23 became my anthem. Through the busyness, sickness and stress i found myself still joyful during class, and during football, and having meaningful conversations and I just smile inside because that's ALL the HolySpirit..... so now I have spring break and i'm just super stoked to get down and dirty in the Word and go hiking and go surfing and play basketball and get SLEEEEEEP and play raquetball and run and lift and READ LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOGS :) so yeah I've been M.I.A, but things have been going splendid. see you all tonight :)